"Merry Christmas From The Family"

So to set the title of this blog straight, our family Christmas could be defined 100% by Robert Earl Keen's song. I wouldn't exactly call us white trash, but we are not exactly the most "put together" family that there is out there. Any how, that is the way that it is, and that is how I LOVE it! This Christmas season has snuck up pretty quickly on me. I feel like I just celebrated my birthday, and that was over 4 months ago. Ready or not, it was here and now it is over. I know this is sad to say but it has taken me 19 longs years for me to find and enjoy the real reason for the season. I have always known that Jesus is the reason for Christmas, and have always enjoyed that. However, it has been the little things that I have always taken for granted that I have learned to appreciate. Regardless how "white trash" our family can be at times, I would not want to spend the holidays with anyone else. People always say you don't know what you have until it is gone, and well they have a point. While none of my family is gone, every year the time that I get to spend with them is cut short for some "grown-up" reasons. I used to spend days and weeks preparing for Christmas with my mom, dad, and grandparents. Now I barely make it home in time to celebrate. Also, when I was little I was so excited to unwrap the gifts under the tree. At this point in my life, I am more concerned about what I am going to be wrapping to put under the tree, and if it is the perfect gift for that recipient. While I will always miss my innocent child hood days of Christmas, I will try to spend my adult ones appreciating all that the sweet Lord has blessed me with. I am so appreciative of every gift, big or small, that I have ever received. Even if it is a warm, long awaited for, home cooked meal on the dining table. Maybe it's even getting to celebrate the holidays with your loved ones that might not be around forever. This Christmas, as well as every Christmas, I was spoiled rotten and received more than I could have ever asked for. Another thing that I have realized this holiday season is how much I really do miss home and everyone here. In the past six months I have not had the chance to spend many days in Krum, six total to be exact. Fortunately, I managed to take a long Christmas break. I forgot how much I like getting to sit on the back porch, and how much I missed just driving around with my friends. Also, it is crazy how much people change, some for the better and some for the worse. This trip at home has definitely thrown me some curve balls, but it has been great. It even makes me want to lock in a college degree plan so I can get my indecisive self back to North Texas. It is really going to be a tough on me to head back to Lubbock on Monday.

"...I wanna do right, but not right now..."

So first off let me point out that I have gone nuts and I am writing this blog at 5:20 in the MORNING! I have officially lost it! Well actually not, I had surgery yesterday and I woke up to take medicine and cannot go to sleep.

If you look, I have not blogged since the beginning of October! Wow! That is forever. A lot has happened since then. I feel like my theme for this whole year (yes I am weird and theme things) is change. I change constantly, so does everyone else. For the past month, I have tried to teach myself to grow as a person. I think that I have finally realized what it is that I want to do with my life, and what I am going to have to do in order to make it happen. I also realized that regardless how much I want to obtain my dreams, I still have to maintain other aspects of my life and not forget those as well. I have learned that I absolutely  CANNOT live without my friends and family. Also, God puts you in the right places at the right time, when needed. When I sometimes need reassurance it seems as if an event will happen and faith is restored. Additionally, God puts the right people in your life, at the right time. Sometimes you need someone to shoot it straight with you at certain times, and someone to take care of you, even if they are a little over 300 miles away.

Okay! Enough with the whole change thing! I would like to share that I am obsessed with the new Miranda Lambert CD. Since the day that it came out, I have had it on repeat in my car. Well until someone, who claims that he hates Miranda, stole it. BUSTED! So now it is just on repeat on my phone. If I could sing like one person in my whole life it would be her. She is beyond amazing, and absolutely gorgeous. Most importantly, unlike many celebrities, (Taylor Swift *cough cough) she seems totally down to Earth.

Also, I faced my largest fear yesterday. My whole life I have refused to get surgery because I have an irrational fear of anesthesia. Well the time came and it had to happen. I am honestly very impressed to know that I went 19 years without it happening, knowing my track record. After many tears being shed, the plan of what would happen to all of my belongings upon dying, I did it! The most caring anesthesiologist took care of me and then for the first time you will ever hear me say it, I really needed my Mom! Granted, I think that maybe she has slept more in this process than I have. For some reason, I feel great, I am just ready for Thanksgiving and I am determined to be able to eat solid foods before then since Mom bought rack of lamb! (YUM!!!) Now since I made it through it once, I think it's time to get the boobs done! HAHA Yeah that will never happen!


Even though I am 99% certain that no one ever reads any of these, I would like to wish many blessings for you and your families this Holiday Season! Much love to all!

One Lucky Little Bitch

What a title right? Well that is the term that I am using to describe myself right now. You know those moments in life when you think that NOTHING is going right and somehow everything falls right into place? Yeah, well that has been my life this past month. When it comes to school, I feel like absolutely nothing is clicking and then I get to a test and I feel like a brain surgeon because I get so smart all of a sudden. When it comes to work, I feel like the day has been so crazy and busy and there is no way in the world that I could possibly balance, and BAM! I balance! My mom has always told me that I am one to "start out covered in shit and come out smelling like roses." Well, my mom has never been more right in my life. All I can say is that God has been holding my hand through my life and especially the past few weeks. I feel more blessed than ever.

Somewhere Beautiful

So I have this little tradition on my way home. It is kind of a weird one, but the first time that I was coming home from Lubbock this song came on right as I hit the city limit sign of Krum. Now, it is my tradition. I know just about everyone and their dog has heard the song "My Hometown" by the oh so amazing Charlie Robison. Well that's my "city limit song", simply because I am certain that it pertains to every Krum resident's life in some form or fashion. It's a classy joint. During one of my typical day-to-day activities of just driving around today, this song came on and reminded me how much I just need to go home for a day or two. I was so excited about leaving, I feel as if I forgot to say goodbye. I didn't exactly accomplish everything at home that I feel like I needed to this summer. My grandpa was in the hospital the two weeks before we left, and I was so worried about him that I didn't do the things that I said that I was going to do. August 1st got here really fast, and I have not been back to take care of any unfinished business since. When that song came on today every little thing started reminding me of good ole' Hawkeye road from the smell of cow poop to the thought of drinking water from a well. Yeah, it's that bad! Unfortunately, I am about to learn how to cope with the the thought of not going home until Thanksgiving. Praying that I get to go home then. Between school and work, there is just not enough time in the day for that four and a half hour journey. My parents come to visit VERY often, but that is just not quite filling the gap for me. I need to see my puppy, my old friends, all of my family, and that driveway to my house REALLY bad! Until then, my current mood is homesick. However, I can't bare the thought of leaving my house here for very long. They always say "home is where the heart is", well I have a problem that I don't know how to fix. My heart is in two places that are very far apart.

The sunset that I miss seeing every night.

"Don't Let If Fool Ya About What's Inside"

It seems like when I blog, I blog all about the same things. I don't know why. Honestly, it bores me half to death, but I never know what to blog about. Well today, I have something.

Many events happen in life. Obviously! Well take this in to thought. Have you ever realized that many events happen due to the type of person that you are? There is one thing about you that can cause people to love you, people to hate you, for you to have a terrible time, or you to have the time of your life. Also, have you thought what your life would be like if that one little aspect was not part of you?

Take me for example, I might be one of the most hard headed people you will ever meet. If I get something in my head, it will be done and it will be done at that very moment. Often times this is very beneficial to me because, in cases like work, I set my mind to getting a task done and I will be damned if it is not completed, and completed right. Also, I believe that me being so hard headed is what causes me to be so goal oriented. If someone tells me that I simply cannot do something, I will spend the rest of my life to prove them wrong. However, even though this trait can sometimes be good, it has it's down sides. Take relationships for example. Now, I am not necessarily talking about relationships with guys here. I mainly am talking about relationships with family. This trait can be very detrimental to the bonds with others. Obviously, if I am so hardheaded, I had to learn it from someone. When me and someone else with that same trait clashes, it tends to get ugly. What if I was not like that? Would I get a long with certain people better? Would I loose more of the characteristics that make me who I am?

When you get ready to judge someone about how they act, pause. Think about them. What if that one thing that you are judging them about, that you hate, they hate that about themselves too? Now, I am not saying that I hate that I am hardheaded, AT ALL! But, I do have things that I hate about myself, as I am sure that everyone does. I have had people judge me, and I have seen many others being judged. Hell, I am not going to say that I am at all innocent when it comes to judgement. However, just because that one person has a few "flaws" in their character, does not mean that they are not an amazing person. The one thing that I am going to fix about myself, is judging others. I vow to take a walk in someone's shoes before I decide if I like that person or not.

Home Is Where the Heart Is!

Everyone is back, school and work has started, and I am "home"! Well for the time being. Shelby and I have our "home" livable at this point! We are still working on the little details that make it a little more personable. My mission at this point, my back porch. It needs some work before the fall comes and the majority of my time is spent out there. Well for now here are some pictures of mi casa!! It still needs some help. 

Our kitchen and part of the dining room

The living room

My bed

My dresser

My bathroom.

Our little entry hall.

"It feels so good feelin' good again"

I can finally say that I am back in Lubbock! I have been here for a week now, but I feel like I am all settled in and ready to go! While things are a little slow right now, I can't wait for the full swing of things to begin.  This summer has been more than amazing. I worked quite a bit, so blogging did not really serve as one of my top priorities. I got to spend some well needed time with my family. I got to take an amazing vacation. I got to relive days of the past with my friends from high school. I also got to do one of the things that I love the most, WORK! Yes, that is right. Call me weird, but I love working. This summer was also great because I got to do a little bit of "soul searching". I had time alone. I learned a lot about myself. I learned that I am most happy with my family and the friends that mean the most to me. (Majorly impossible at this time in my life) I also learned that growing up is a little hard to grasp for me, but I am more than ready for it. I also learned the one thing about myself that drives me CRAZY! I cannot sit still to save my life. I cannot for the life of me stay at one location for a whole day. I wake up in the morning and pray that I have a long, ongoing list of things to do because I get so bored. Fortunately, at home I can always find something to do, even if it is just running to Dollar General or going to the gas station to buy scratch offs. At the end of the summer, our family hit a little speed bump. My grandpa spent over 2 weeks in ICU, but now he is out and on his road to a full recovery. I think God everyday for blessing me for the family that he has blessed me with. Now that the summer has wrapped up, I am more excited than ever for everything to get back to normal. We are in our new "home", my friends are slowly starting to arrive. I am just so happy to be back in Lubbock. Also, my birthday is next weekend. A lot of my friends are already getting ready to celebrate it, and someone is trying like crazy to get off of work and come up here to celebrate with me! I can easily say that I am overly happy with every aspect of my life right now.   :)