One Lucky Little Bitch

What a title right? Well that is the term that I am using to describe myself right now. You know those moments in life when you think that NOTHING is going right and somehow everything falls right into place? Yeah, well that has been my life this past month. When it comes to school, I feel like absolutely nothing is clicking and then I get to a test and I feel like a brain surgeon because I get so smart all of a sudden. When it comes to work, I feel like the day has been so crazy and busy and there is no way in the world that I could possibly balance, and BAM! I balance! My mom has always told me that I am one to "start out covered in shit and come out smelling like roses." Well, my mom has never been more right in my life. All I can say is that God has been holding my hand through my life and especially the past few weeks. I feel more blessed than ever.

Somewhere Beautiful

So I have this little tradition on my way home. It is kind of a weird one, but the first time that I was coming home from Lubbock this song came on right as I hit the city limit sign of Krum. Now, it is my tradition. I know just about everyone and their dog has heard the song "My Hometown" by the oh so amazing Charlie Robison. Well that's my "city limit song", simply because I am certain that it pertains to every Krum resident's life in some form or fashion. It's a classy joint. During one of my typical day-to-day activities of just driving around today, this song came on and reminded me how much I just need to go home for a day or two. I was so excited about leaving, I feel as if I forgot to say goodbye. I didn't exactly accomplish everything at home that I feel like I needed to this summer. My grandpa was in the hospital the two weeks before we left, and I was so worried about him that I didn't do the things that I said that I was going to do. August 1st got here really fast, and I have not been back to take care of any unfinished business since. When that song came on today every little thing started reminding me of good ole' Hawkeye road from the smell of cow poop to the thought of drinking water from a well. Yeah, it's that bad! Unfortunately, I am about to learn how to cope with the the thought of not going home until Thanksgiving. Praying that I get to go home then. Between school and work, there is just not enough time in the day for that four and a half hour journey. My parents come to visit VERY often, but that is just not quite filling the gap for me. I need to see my puppy, my old friends, all of my family, and that driveway to my house REALLY bad! Until then, my current mood is homesick. However, I can't bare the thought of leaving my house here for very long. They always say "home is where the heart is", well I have a problem that I don't know how to fix. My heart is in two places that are very far apart.

The sunset that I miss seeing every night.

"Don't Let If Fool Ya About What's Inside"

It seems like when I blog, I blog all about the same things. I don't know why. Honestly, it bores me half to death, but I never know what to blog about. Well today, I have something.

Many events happen in life. Obviously! Well take this in to thought. Have you ever realized that many events happen due to the type of person that you are? There is one thing about you that can cause people to love you, people to hate you, for you to have a terrible time, or you to have the time of your life. Also, have you thought what your life would be like if that one little aspect was not part of you?

Take me for example, I might be one of the most hard headed people you will ever meet. If I get something in my head, it will be done and it will be done at that very moment. Often times this is very beneficial to me because, in cases like work, I set my mind to getting a task done and I will be damned if it is not completed, and completed right. Also, I believe that me being so hard headed is what causes me to be so goal oriented. If someone tells me that I simply cannot do something, I will spend the rest of my life to prove them wrong. However, even though this trait can sometimes be good, it has it's down sides. Take relationships for example. Now, I am not necessarily talking about relationships with guys here. I mainly am talking about relationships with family. This trait can be very detrimental to the bonds with others. Obviously, if I am so hardheaded, I had to learn it from someone. When me and someone else with that same trait clashes, it tends to get ugly. What if I was not like that? Would I get a long with certain people better? Would I loose more of the characteristics that make me who I am?

When you get ready to judge someone about how they act, pause. Think about them. What if that one thing that you are judging them about, that you hate, they hate that about themselves too? Now, I am not saying that I hate that I am hardheaded, AT ALL! But, I do have things that I hate about myself, as I am sure that everyone does. I have had people judge me, and I have seen many others being judged. Hell, I am not going to say that I am at all innocent when it comes to judgement. However, just because that one person has a few "flaws" in their character, does not mean that they are not an amazing person. The one thing that I am going to fix about myself, is judging others. I vow to take a walk in someone's shoes before I decide if I like that person or not.

Home Is Where the Heart Is!

Everyone is back, school and work has started, and I am "home"! Well for the time being. Shelby and I have our "home" livable at this point! We are still working on the little details that make it a little more personable. My mission at this point, my back porch. It needs some work before the fall comes and the majority of my time is spent out there. Well for now here are some pictures of mi casa!! It still needs some help. 

Our kitchen and part of the dining room

The living room

My bed

My dresser

My bathroom.

Our little entry hall.

"It feels so good feelin' good again"

I can finally say that I am back in Lubbock! I have been here for a week now, but I feel like I am all settled in and ready to go! While things are a little slow right now, I can't wait for the full swing of things to begin.  This summer has been more than amazing. I worked quite a bit, so blogging did not really serve as one of my top priorities. I got to spend some well needed time with my family. I got to take an amazing vacation. I got to relive days of the past with my friends from high school. I also got to do one of the things that I love the most, WORK! Yes, that is right. Call me weird, but I love working. This summer was also great because I got to do a little bit of "soul searching". I had time alone. I learned a lot about myself. I learned that I am most happy with my family and the friends that mean the most to me. (Majorly impossible at this time in my life) I also learned that growing up is a little hard to grasp for me, but I am more than ready for it. I also learned the one thing about myself that drives me CRAZY! I cannot sit still to save my life. I cannot for the life of me stay at one location for a whole day. I wake up in the morning and pray that I have a long, ongoing list of things to do because I get so bored. Fortunately, at home I can always find something to do, even if it is just running to Dollar General or going to the gas station to buy scratch offs. At the end of the summer, our family hit a little speed bump. My grandpa spent over 2 weeks in ICU, but now he is out and on his road to a full recovery. I think God everyday for blessing me for the family that he has blessed me with. Now that the summer has wrapped up, I am more excited than ever for everything to get back to normal. We are in our new "home", my friends are slowly starting to arrive. I am just so happy to be back in Lubbock. Also, my birthday is next weekend. A lot of my friends are already getting ready to celebrate it, and someone is trying like crazy to get off of work and come up here to celebrate with me! I can easily say that I am overly happy with every aspect of my life right now.   :)

"..every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end."

Change. God, I hate that word. In my mind it's like nails scraping against a chalkboard. Down right terrible!  For whatever reason the one thing that scares me the most, is change. I'm terrified of it. Horrified to be exact. I am completely okay with finding my niche and sticking to it. If I was told today that I was going to be a student until I was 22 then find a job and stick with it for the rest of my life, I would be okay with that. If I was told that I was going to be in school until I was 22, move half way across the world, come back to Texas, work for 20 years, move 4 times, and then settle down, you would not be able to pull me out of bed tomorrow morning. I guess I have some weird mental disorder that causes me to want to know exactly what is going to happen and when. Without an enormous amount of change, I can determine my day-to-day activities pretty accurately, and I like that. I like it a lot. I realize that without change you cannot get anywhere in life. (and my dreams of owning the Dallas Mavericks would never come true)  Also, I realize that things are going to have to change with time, and I am okay with that. I just have to deal with being extremely nervous until the change is over. As I prepare to move (aka change locations) over the next few weeks, I am going to be a nervous, scatter brained mess. Dear Lord, help the ones around me. Also, I prepare to leave work. That is hard for me knowing that this time I probably won't return. Nor will I probably ever be living in the house that I have spent the past 18 years calling home. That's a hard pill to swallow. 

On the bright side, I am focusing on interpreting change as growth. All of my dreams are coming true, and how could I be afraid of that? All of my goals are becoming a reality, and before I know it I will be right where I have spent my whole life convincing my parents that I would someday be. It's time for me to grow up and face my fear of change. Change, it's on!  

Photoshop Vixen

So I have found my monthly addiction, PHOTOSHOP!!!! I recently had one of my friends hook me up with this amazing program. Now I am trying to figure out this puzzle all by myself. So far, I have taught myself the basics of photo editing. Today I ventured out a little. I set out on an adventure to create a new blog header, and I did it. Pretty good for my first one, I thought! I love photoshopping and am excited about continuing to learn all of the program's awesome capabilities.