"Young & Free"

Since it has been like 30 years since I last blogged, and I am bored out of my mind at work, here I go.

First off, as a follow up on my last blog  "Farkle Snart ," the crazy lady is still causing me to claw my eyes out on a daily basis. I said that I had wanted to make a list of all the crazy things that she said. I did. However, my list compiled of about 50 sticky notes has disappeared. I honestly think that the maid that cleans our office is using them for proof of my craziness, but I really want to think that Miss Farkle Snart herself found them. I am hoping for the latter.

Secondly, I have had an awesome past few weeks. I have been in a really wierd/ content/ happy mood and I'm rolling with it. You know those part of the movies when it is practically on fast forward throughout a year and everything is all happy with some really chill music playing? Well I feel like my life has been on a happy fast forward part of the movie with really badass background music. I have got to do some really cool things lately. Nothing particular, but this new semester is starting off good. Actually not good, great! I have heard some really good music, I have planned a lot of really cool things, and I have gotten some really good news.

Also, I learned how to use links on this bad boy. Oh, you just wait!

Okay, not like anyone really cares, but I have started this crazy awesome diet. I should be punished for using awesome and diet in the same sentence, but it's really not bad. I started tracking my calories with the "Loose It!" app on my phone and it really made me realize how much crap I really shove in my face. Also, I don't know what happened, but apparently God lit a match under my ass and said, "workout fatass." Lately I have actually enjoyed going to the gym and consider that one of the highlights of my day. I started this diet last Thursday and I have already lost 4.8 pounds. I know that is not going to be happening every week, but I feel pretty accomplished and I am counting down until I get off and can go to the gym. I have not really seen any physical proof of the weight loss, so I am going to kill myself running until I do.

Last, but not least. I have to make note of this. I sent in my final information for my flight to Vegas and everything is booked and ready to go. 76 more days!

"Farkle Snart"

"UMM, CINDY!! Can you come here for a second, sugar plum?" Ughh. The thought of that being said is simply sending chills down my back as I type. First off my name is Sydney, not Cindy. Also, I am not your "sugar plum." I'm Sydney, that is about all.

 For the past week, for eight to nine hours a day I have been locked in an 8ft by 10ft vault with this so called "human." Let me start off by explaining this character. First off she has a voice like Fran off of "The Nanny," she laughs at herself to the point I think chocolate milk from her breakfast 8 hours ago is about to bust through her nose, and she has hair that looked like she got confused picking out the shade of red that she wanted so she bought a box of purple and a box of orange and got creative with it. I'm all about unique, but this women takes it to a whole new level. Additionally, she knows EVERYTHING, or at least she thinks that she does and everyone that she knows is highly important, making her a "VIP." Oh, but WAIT! We have not even gotten to the best part of this lady. Whoever taught her english was beyond crazy. In fact, whoever it was makes bat shit crazy look sane. They are more like taking bath salts eat your face off crazy. Which makes her a spitting image. She uses vocabulary that I think you would have to be doped up on some serious drugs to understand. That is, if you can get past the random shouting of "Oh, Guacamole!" I think that guacamole went from my favorite food to down right disgusting for how much she uses it. On the topic of disgusting she makes these little comments about her sex life, or the lack there of. She is 60 years old and just burried her 4th husband. I could really do without that picture in my head. Today she was talking politics and I wasn't really responding. I seriously know nothing about what is going on in this world aside from what pertains directly to that moment of my life, and I don't feel as if I am educated enough on the subject to properly form an opinion. However, I will respect yours. She was all talking Biden this, Biden that when she brought up that he was in New Mexico pretty close to Lubbock. In order to avoid future discussions on that topic (or so I thought), I just said cool that way she could continue her one sided conversation with herself. Little did I know, this recently widdowed woman is in love with Biden. Not like the typical girly love crap where girls just drool over the guy, like the crazy stalkerish love. She may be on her way to New Mexico now to find out his exact location and rape his brains out. Anyway, she informed me that Biden makes her "giggly in the tiggly, if you know what I mean" and then winked. First off, I don't know what you mean, as I don't know waht a "tiggly" is. He is like 400 years older than me and I could do without an old sugar daddy. After pondering what she really meant, it was 100% a sexual comment toward Biden and she wants him bad. Oh, it gets better. As she was completing her work, something messed up. Working with money you are guaranteed to have mistakes, and a lot of them. You just take them as they come and deal with them. Nope, not this quack job. She gets her panties all in a wad and goes ape shit. If I ever here the expression "Oh! Farkle Snart!" again, I am going to laugh in the woman's face. Just say "oh shit" instead of "Crusted over crutons, we have a situation here", I promise that will actually get your point across.

Regaurdless how annoyed I get at this creature, I am learning to enjoy that I get to spend everyday with her. I have started a book of her outlandish quotes and I think that I am on my way to getting free counseling through work, as everyone who works in my office is going to need it. However, if I start using "Guacamole!" as an expression, I'm going to need my own office.

The Letters of ME!

I had to steal this from my good friend Heffernan because it looked too fun. Also, it reminded me of when everyone did these type things on myspace. So here it goes...

A is for age: 

19, I'll be 20 on Monday

B is for breakfast today: 

A bottle of water and a handfull of fruit loops. I was in a hurry.
C is for currently craving: 

Nothing right now, I just had lunch.

 

D is for dinner tonight: 

There is no telling what we will come up with. My bet is left over meatloaf from last night.

E is for favorite type of exercise:

The easy stuff. haha If I had to choose, probably jogging.

F is for an irrational fear: 

Snakes and Rats. Can't handle them.

 

G is for gross food: 

Rice. It has no taste and a weird texture.

  

H is for hometown: 

The amazing little town of Krum, TX.

I is for something important: 

First and foremost, my family. Closely followed by friends.

J is for current favorite jam: 

 Oh I couldn't even tell you. Whatever comes on pandora next.

 

K is for kids: 

Maybe one day WAYY into the future. 

L is for current location: 

At work. I took a little break. :)

M is for the most recent way you spent money:

Gas. It is about to kill me.

N is for something you need: 

For tomorrow to get here so that I can start my long weekend! 

O is for occupation: 

Student assistant. Maybe one day I will get a real job. Maybe.

P is for pet peeve: 

Smacking, and two faced people.

Q is for quote:

Do it by the book, but be the autor.

I love it!! 

R is for random fact about you: 

I am a twin.

S is for favorite healthy snack: 

Fruit. I love frozen peaches. 

T is for favorite treat: 

Sweet tea. It's my weakness.
U is for something that makes you unique: 

There is nothing really unique about me that I can see.

V is for favorite vegetable:

Green beans, collard greens, asparagus, lettace, spinich,  really anything that is green for some reason.

W is for today’s workout: 

Run after I get off and then do one of the workout pyramid things on pinterest.

X is for X-rays you’ve had:

Ha! Too many. Ankles, wrists, arms, ribs.

Y is for yesterday’s highlight:

Lunch with Emily and her family, having Heffernan and Bailey Joe over for supper, and starting to pack. I live such an adventurous life...not.

Z is for your time zone: 

central. 

Those Long Hot Summer Days

Realizing that I have not wrote a blog in a month and this is seriously how I remember what I do, I am going to give a new entry a shot.

First off, this past month has been quite the adventure. I have been so many places. There are not enough words in the English language to explain all that I have got to experience. From backroads, to highways, to bands, to wrecked cars, to new friends that made me family, to "just up here on the left", I feel as if I have got to live so much in the past month. Well I always live, but more freely. No rules, no schedule, just me! It has been a growing experience. However, I am not done with this way of life this summer. I feel like this might be my last summer to just up and go somewhere when I please, so I am going to make the most of it. I have one, maybe two more road trips to make by the time school starts in August. I can't wait! Also, I can't wait for school to start back and I can start working towards my new major, football season, and all of my friends will be back in one town. I seriously don't know what I am going to do when we all graduate and go our own ways.

Another high point to hit, one of my friends got married this past weekend...in VEGAS! It was a very quick wedding, as it was planned in about 2 weeks. Crazy stuff. On Saturday, Hallie and I decided in honor of not being able to go to Vegas, we were going to day drink and be sloshed by the time the wedding started at 10 o'clock our time. After a couple of hours spent drinking on the back porch, I had met 2 of my neighbors that I had never met before, we had curled my hair, and we were dressed up and ready to watch the wedding. Thank God for Vegas chapel web cams because we felt like we were at the wedding, we could just actually be loud (and drunk) for the grand finale. The wedding was beautiful, and perfect for them. So much we had to watch it twice for it to "sit in." Congrats to Bailey and Cal! I wish them many years of happiness and love.

Seeing that I am at work and I really get bored pretending to be busy and doing my job, I have googled the heck out of top vacay destinations in America. Next year is not only my 21st birthday, it is also my parent's 25th anniversary. Therefore, in my mind we need to take a HUGE vacay to celebrate. My original plans that I have had my whole life was to go to Vegas for my 21st and possibly to the NFR. However, Mom has other plans. She wants all of us to go together somewhere and since Daddy is not a huge fan of Vegas, it's looking like a no go. Next thought was NOLA. I have kinda been there and done that, and honestly NOLA is really cool and all when you are wasted on Burbon street, but during the day it's kinda super creepy. In all of these thoughts, I have developed my life plan. During my whole college days (AT LEAST 3 more years!!) I am going to roadtrip Texas. I may throw in some other states where I can, but I want to mainly spend my weekends going all over Texas. Then when I graduate and get a real job and get old and not all that much fun, I want to try to see all 50 states before I retire. I have been out of the country a few times but I'm ready for my world tour.

Enough of me blabbing on about completely nothing. Go spend the rest of the day doing some thing really fun!

Here's to America

Memorial Day Weekend.

Oh where to even begin..

This past weekend was one for the books. To start off, Hallie and I hit the road with the car LOADED down. I don't at all take packing lightly. Hungry as hippos we flew to Dickens to eat at Ponderosa BBQ. I have ate little things in there before and they have been amazing, but never there pineapple "puddin". If you are ever on 114, it is for sure worth the stop. Quite possibly the detour to Heaven. After chowing down on some BBQ and "puddin." We hit the high road. We made it all the way to Jacksboro and then had to stop and see some friends. Well actually just one, but it took 45 min to clear the town. Just to pull over in Runaway Bay and take pictures of the ferris wheel that I had been telling Hallie about. We finally made it to Krum and sat down in the back yard to drink a beer with Daddy when Emily and Mom showed up back from Denton. (Emily beat us home) As the night moved on, and we grew drunker, more of our friends started to trickle in. About 1:30, after swimming all night, Hallie had the idea to go to the bar. Much to our dismay, there is some stupid law or something that bars can only stay open until 2. Who would have thought? So we decided to high tail it to Thackerville to hit up Winstar. After loosing way too much money, (I'm still up on Winstar!) we finally made it home about 5 Saturday morning. A few short hours of sleep later we were wide awake and ready to go again. Saturday was another day of soid drinking. (Notice a trend) Mom and Daddy had a crawfish boil at our house later that night and a lot of people came over, some that I had never even met. Drunkness led to dancing on bars and before any of us knew it, we were one giant shit show. After getting mad because some rando started making out with our friends, Hallie and I decided to go to bed. Sunday morning we all got up and Emily and the Munday boys decided to head out, leaving just Shelby, Hallie, my parents, and me. Hallie and I decided to go to Ft. Worth since she had never been. The rest of my family met us down there later. Ft. Worth is great, but seeing that I am a broke college student these days, my budget did not really hold up to the prices at Maverick where I love to shop. Of course, in Ft Worth tradition, we had to take Hallie to Joe T. Garcia's. A real quick meal and a strong margarita put us on the road to Jacksboro, where all of the craziness started again. One drunken night later, Hallie and I somehow made it back to Krum by 10 Monday morning. Lord only knows how. Since I had not seen any of my grandparents all weekend, it was time to get showers and go granny hoppin. My Nana and Papa took us to Denton to eat some Mexican food, then it was on to Ponder to say hi to Mimi and Poppie. I came home, got my ass chewed, and then hit the road back to Lubbock. After little to no sleep the whole weekend, the trip back might have been the longest trip of my life, as I was fighting my eyes to stay open. All-in-all, I think that it was safe to say that this memorial day was one I'll never forget. It was more fun than I have had in a LONG time!!! I can't wait to see what the rest of the summer has to hold.

"You Ain't Met My Texas Yet"

I would have to say that the past year has been one hellacious rollercoaster. I don't even know where to start. There have been quite a few events that will forever shape that person that I have become. Some bad, some good. School has been a trip for me. Needless to say, I am THRILLED that the semester is now over. I have changed my major to Agriculture Education and I am pumped to get started in those classes. I am DONE with the business classes!! Whooo!!! With all of that being said, I have one goal this summer. My goal is to see every aspect of Texas. I have visited and experienced many of the experiences that "My Texas" explains. However, I am ready to do the things that I have not and relive the ones that I have. I have finally broke free from home and I will not be returning this summer, except for some short visits. In celebration of that, I am going to make this summer one for the history books. I have so many things that I want to do, I am not sure that I will ever get them all done this summer. I'm always down for a challenge. By next summer, I want to have accomplished almost everything listed in that song. So, with that being said, here is my bucket list by next summer. Some I have already done and will take a back seat priority to those that have yet to be accomplished.

Climbed up to Enchanted Rock
Drink a cold Shiner down in Luckenbach
(Been but I'm ready to drink down there)
River Walk!!
float down the 'Ol Frio (Guadalupe, Comal) 
Red Dirt music on your radio
Eat Cooper's down in Llano
Houston rodeo
Sing "Carry On" at a Pat Green show
See an Abilene sunset
Catch a trout down in Port A (Only Corpus)
Hear the words to "Corpus Christi Bay"
Fireworks on PK (only been there 100 times, but not crossing it off until I see the fireworks)
Have a kolache when you go through West
GO TO the Larry Jo Taylor fest (and suds and sounds)
Go to the Ft. Worth stock show
Sang along with Cory Morrow
See a hill country sunset
Hike through Big Bend
Have your hair blown back by a Lubbock wind  (Daily)
Go somewhere where they call you "friend"
Go to the San Antone rodeo
Sing "Everclear" at a Creager show
See an El Paso sunset

With a few minor adjustments in the words of the songs, I am sure that I can accomplish all of these by next year at this time, and redo all of the ones that I have already done!

"There's no place like home...There's not place like home..."

I guess that you could say that I woke up Friday morning with Red Slipper Syndrome. It's a serious condition from what I hear and highly contagious, so you better watch out! JUST KIDDING! I was getting EXTREMELY homesick last week and I needed some good ole' Krum time. So, on a spur of the moment trip, I headed 309 miles (I'm not counting or anything) East and found my self arriving at about 10:30 that night. I only saw like 75 state troopers. Shocker! Don't get me wrong, I love Lubbock, but nothing beats Krum after a good ole' rain. The second that I got home, I didn't waste anytime. I had places to go and people to see. ;) I got to meet some of my Mom's friends from North Carolina and spend a good amount of time with the friends that I hold so dear to my heart ♥. I just couldn't find it in me to leave on Sunday so I decided to wake up EARLY this morning and head back to the LBK. Nothing crazy exciting happened really, but it was a lot of fun. I got to see people that I hardly ever get to see, have the rest of my life thrown at me (not so fun!), have the rest of my life planned for me♥♥♥, get a good amount of "windshield time", have really rude people play not so nice jokes on me, and tear up some mud tracks. Here are just a few of the pictures that I snapped this weekend:

I got to meet Tiffany's family.

Creeper Points: I still don't realize why really wealthy people who can afford to buy anything try to dress like Ginger Spice. 

I got to see my favorite little sister. :) 

I got told that I might need an intervention for my MAC addiction. 

I taught people how to curl my hair! Best idea ever!

Drank maybe a bit too much, but who's counting?

On my way back this morning I got to witness one of the most beautiful sunrises that I have ever seen

                                          

                                             I did have to leave this little turd in Lubbock and that broke my heart. 

"Merry Christmas From The Family"

So to set the title of this blog straight, our family Christmas could be defined 100% by Robert Earl Keen's song. I wouldn't exactly call us white trash, but we are not exactly the most "put together" family that there is out there. Any how, that is the way that it is, and that is how I LOVE it! This Christmas season has snuck up pretty quickly on me. I feel like I just celebrated my birthday, and that was over 4 months ago. Ready or not, it was here and now it is over. I know this is sad to say but it has taken me 19 longs years for me to find and enjoy the real reason for the season. I have always known that Jesus is the reason for Christmas, and have always enjoyed that. However, it has been the little things that I have always taken for granted that I have learned to appreciate. Regardless how "white trash" our family can be at times, I would not want to spend the holidays with anyone else. People always say you don't know what you have until it is gone, and well they have a point. While none of my family is gone, every year the time that I get to spend with them is cut short for some "grown-up" reasons. I used to spend days and weeks preparing for Christmas with my mom, dad, and grandparents. Now I barely make it home in time to celebrate. Also, when I was little I was so excited to unwrap the gifts under the tree. At this point in my life, I am more concerned about what I am going to be wrapping to put under the tree, and if it is the perfect gift for that recipient. While I will always miss my innocent child hood days of Christmas, I will try to spend my adult ones appreciating all that the sweet Lord has blessed me with. I am so appreciative of every gift, big or small, that I have ever received. Even if it is a warm, long awaited for, home cooked meal on the dining table. Maybe it's even getting to celebrate the holidays with your loved ones that might not be around forever. This Christmas, as well as every Christmas, I was spoiled rotten and received more than I could have ever asked for. Another thing that I have realized this holiday season is how much I really do miss home and everyone here. In the past six months I have not had the chance to spend many days in Krum, six total to be exact. Fortunately, I managed to take a long Christmas break. I forgot how much I like getting to sit on the back porch, and how much I missed just driving around with my friends. Also, it is crazy how much people change, some for the better and some for the worse. This trip at home has definitely thrown me some curve balls, but it has been great. It even makes me want to lock in a college degree plan so I can get my indecisive self back to North Texas. It is really going to be a tough on me to head back to Lubbock on Monday.

"...I wanna do right, but not right now..."

So first off let me point out that I have gone nuts and I am writing this blog at 5:20 in the MORNING! I have officially lost it! Well actually not, I had surgery yesterday and I woke up to take medicine and cannot go to sleep.

If you look, I have not blogged since the beginning of October! Wow! That is forever. A lot has happened since then. I feel like my theme for this whole year (yes I am weird and theme things) is change. I change constantly, so does everyone else. For the past month, I have tried to teach myself to grow as a person. I think that I have finally realized what it is that I want to do with my life, and what I am going to have to do in order to make it happen. I also realized that regardless how much I want to obtain my dreams, I still have to maintain other aspects of my life and not forget those as well. I have learned that I absolutely  CANNOT live without my friends and family. Also, God puts you in the right places at the right time, when needed. When I sometimes need reassurance it seems as if an event will happen and faith is restored. Additionally, God puts the right people in your life, at the right time. Sometimes you need someone to shoot it straight with you at certain times, and someone to take care of you, even if they are a little over 300 miles away.

Okay! Enough with the whole change thing! I would like to share that I am obsessed with the new Miranda Lambert CD. Since the day that it came out, I have had it on repeat in my car. Well until someone, who claims that he hates Miranda, stole it. BUSTED! So now it is just on repeat on my phone. If I could sing like one person in my whole life it would be her. She is beyond amazing, and absolutely gorgeous. Most importantly, unlike many celebrities, (Taylor Swift *cough cough) she seems totally down to Earth.

Also, I faced my largest fear yesterday. My whole life I have refused to get surgery because I have an irrational fear of anesthesia. Well the time came and it had to happen. I am honestly very impressed to know that I went 19 years without it happening, knowing my track record. After many tears being shed, the plan of what would happen to all of my belongings upon dying, I did it! The most caring anesthesiologist took care of me and then for the first time you will ever hear me say it, I really needed my Mom! Granted, I think that maybe she has slept more in this process than I have. For some reason, I feel great, I am just ready for Thanksgiving and I am determined to be able to eat solid foods before then since Mom bought rack of lamb! (YUM!!!) Now since I made it through it once, I think it's time to get the boobs done! HAHA Yeah that will never happen!


Even though I am 99% certain that no one ever reads any of these, I would like to wish many blessings for you and your families this Holiday Season! Much love to all!

One Lucky Little Bitch

What a title right? Well that is the term that I am using to describe myself right now. You know those moments in life when you think that NOTHING is going right and somehow everything falls right into place? Yeah, well that has been my life this past month. When it comes to school, I feel like absolutely nothing is clicking and then I get to a test and I feel like a brain surgeon because I get so smart all of a sudden. When it comes to work, I feel like the day has been so crazy and busy and there is no way in the world that I could possibly balance, and BAM! I balance! My mom has always told me that I am one to "start out covered in shit and come out smelling like roses." Well, my mom has never been more right in my life. All I can say is that God has been holding my hand through my life and especially the past few weeks. I feel more blessed than ever.

Somewhere Beautiful

So I have this little tradition on my way home. It is kind of a weird one, but the first time that I was coming home from Lubbock this song came on right as I hit the city limit sign of Krum. Now, it is my tradition. I know just about everyone and their dog has heard the song "My Hometown" by the oh so amazing Charlie Robison. Well that's my "city limit song", simply because I am certain that it pertains to every Krum resident's life in some form or fashion. It's a classy joint. During one of my typical day-to-day activities of just driving around today, this song came on and reminded me how much I just need to go home for a day or two. I was so excited about leaving, I feel as if I forgot to say goodbye. I didn't exactly accomplish everything at home that I feel like I needed to this summer. My grandpa was in the hospital the two weeks before we left, and I was so worried about him that I didn't do the things that I said that I was going to do. August 1st got here really fast, and I have not been back to take care of any unfinished business since. When that song came on today every little thing started reminding me of good ole' Hawkeye road from the smell of cow poop to the thought of drinking water from a well. Yeah, it's that bad! Unfortunately, I am about to learn how to cope with the the thought of not going home until Thanksgiving. Praying that I get to go home then. Between school and work, there is just not enough time in the day for that four and a half hour journey. My parents come to visit VERY often, but that is just not quite filling the gap for me. I need to see my puppy, my old friends, all of my family, and that driveway to my house REALLY bad! Until then, my current mood is homesick. However, I can't bare the thought of leaving my house here for very long. They always say "home is where the heart is", well I have a problem that I don't know how to fix. My heart is in two places that are very far apart.

The sunset that I miss seeing every night.

"Don't Let If Fool Ya About What's Inside"

It seems like when I blog, I blog all about the same things. I don't know why. Honestly, it bores me half to death, but I never know what to blog about. Well today, I have something.

Many events happen in life. Obviously! Well take this in to thought. Have you ever realized that many events happen due to the type of person that you are? There is one thing about you that can cause people to love you, people to hate you, for you to have a terrible time, or you to have the time of your life. Also, have you thought what your life would be like if that one little aspect was not part of you?

Take me for example, I might be one of the most hard headed people you will ever meet. If I get something in my head, it will be done and it will be done at that very moment. Often times this is very beneficial to me because, in cases like work, I set my mind to getting a task done and I will be damned if it is not completed, and completed right. Also, I believe that me being so hard headed is what causes me to be so goal oriented. If someone tells me that I simply cannot do something, I will spend the rest of my life to prove them wrong. However, even though this trait can sometimes be good, it has it's down sides. Take relationships for example. Now, I am not necessarily talking about relationships with guys here. I mainly am talking about relationships with family. This trait can be very detrimental to the bonds with others. Obviously, if I am so hardheaded, I had to learn it from someone. When me and someone else with that same trait clashes, it tends to get ugly. What if I was not like that? Would I get a long with certain people better? Would I loose more of the characteristics that make me who I am?

When you get ready to judge someone about how they act, pause. Think about them. What if that one thing that you are judging them about, that you hate, they hate that about themselves too? Now, I am not saying that I hate that I am hardheaded, AT ALL! But, I do have things that I hate about myself, as I am sure that everyone does. I have had people judge me, and I have seen many others being judged. Hell, I am not going to say that I am at all innocent when it comes to judgement. However, just because that one person has a few "flaws" in their character, does not mean that they are not an amazing person. The one thing that I am going to fix about myself, is judging others. I vow to take a walk in someone's shoes before I decide if I like that person or not.

Home Is Where the Heart Is!

Everyone is back, school and work has started, and I am "home"! Well for the time being. Shelby and I have our "home" livable at this point! We are still working on the little details that make it a little more personable. My mission at this point, my back porch. It needs some work before the fall comes and the majority of my time is spent out there. Well for now here are some pictures of mi casa!! It still needs some help. 

Our kitchen and part of the dining room

The living room

My bed

My dresser

My bathroom.

Our little entry hall.

"It feels so good feelin' good again"

I can finally say that I am back in Lubbock! I have been here for a week now, but I feel like I am all settled in and ready to go! While things are a little slow right now, I can't wait for the full swing of things to begin.  This summer has been more than amazing. I worked quite a bit, so blogging did not really serve as one of my top priorities. I got to spend some well needed time with my family. I got to take an amazing vacation. I got to relive days of the past with my friends from high school. I also got to do one of the things that I love the most, WORK! Yes, that is right. Call me weird, but I love working. This summer was also great because I got to do a little bit of "soul searching". I had time alone. I learned a lot about myself. I learned that I am most happy with my family and the friends that mean the most to me. (Majorly impossible at this time in my life) I also learned that growing up is a little hard to grasp for me, but I am more than ready for it. I also learned the one thing about myself that drives me CRAZY! I cannot sit still to save my life. I cannot for the life of me stay at one location for a whole day. I wake up in the morning and pray that I have a long, ongoing list of things to do because I get so bored. Fortunately, at home I can always find something to do, even if it is just running to Dollar General or going to the gas station to buy scratch offs. At the end of the summer, our family hit a little speed bump. My grandpa spent over 2 weeks in ICU, but now he is out and on his road to a full recovery. I think God everyday for blessing me for the family that he has blessed me with. Now that the summer has wrapped up, I am more excited than ever for everything to get back to normal. We are in our new "home", my friends are slowly starting to arrive. I am just so happy to be back in Lubbock. Also, my birthday is next weekend. A lot of my friends are already getting ready to celebrate it, and someone is trying like crazy to get off of work and come up here to celebrate with me! I can easily say that I am overly happy with every aspect of my life right now.   :)

"..every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end."

Change. God, I hate that word. In my mind it's like nails scraping against a chalkboard. Down right terrible!  For whatever reason the one thing that scares me the most, is change. I'm terrified of it. Horrified to be exact. I am completely okay with finding my niche and sticking to it. If I was told today that I was going to be a student until I was 22 then find a job and stick with it for the rest of my life, I would be okay with that. If I was told that I was going to be in school until I was 22, move half way across the world, come back to Texas, work for 20 years, move 4 times, and then settle down, you would not be able to pull me out of bed tomorrow morning. I guess I have some weird mental disorder that causes me to want to know exactly what is going to happen and when. Without an enormous amount of change, I can determine my day-to-day activities pretty accurately, and I like that. I like it a lot. I realize that without change you cannot get anywhere in life. (and my dreams of owning the Dallas Mavericks would never come true)  Also, I realize that things are going to have to change with time, and I am okay with that. I just have to deal with being extremely nervous until the change is over. As I prepare to move (aka change locations) over the next few weeks, I am going to be a nervous, scatter brained mess. Dear Lord, help the ones around me. Also, I prepare to leave work. That is hard for me knowing that this time I probably won't return. Nor will I probably ever be living in the house that I have spent the past 18 years calling home. That's a hard pill to swallow. 

On the bright side, I am focusing on interpreting change as growth. All of my dreams are coming true, and how could I be afraid of that? All of my goals are becoming a reality, and before I know it I will be right where I have spent my whole life convincing my parents that I would someday be. It's time for me to grow up and face my fear of change. Change, it's on!  

Photoshop Vixen

So I have found my monthly addiction, PHOTOSHOP!!!! I recently had one of my friends hook me up with this amazing program. Now I am trying to figure out this puzzle all by myself. So far, I have taught myself the basics of photo editing. Today I ventured out a little. I set out on an adventure to create a new blog header, and I did it. Pretty good for my first one, I thought! I love photoshopping and am excited about continuing to learn all of the program's awesome capabilities.

Forever Young

So there I was, 2 years old, waking early to watch my early morning cartoons which consisted of Barney and the Rugrats. My Daddy would take us to our Nana's house where she would whip us up a batch of cinnamon toast and we would watch cartoons and eat breakfast until something more exciting would come along. Basically our day consisted of choosing what we wanted for lunch, watching Care Bears or Rugrats, figuring out what trouble I could stir up, and determining where we were going to hide from Dad when he came to get us after he got off of work.

Come August of 96 it was time to start Pre-K. At this age, 4, the amount of decisions slightly increased. We now had to decide what color of carpet squares we were going to sit on for story time, what colors we were going to use on our coloring sheet, what doll or horse we were going to take to show-and-tell that week,  and whether we were going to slide or swing during recess. 

Next thing you know we were 9! On September 11th that pool behind us was half way finished, talk about nervous parents. Even though we knew what September 11th was, I don't think that we fully understood what was going on and how everything was about to change. We were 2 years into showing pigs, and my riding career was well under way. All that I had to do was do good in school, figure out what friend I was going to have over that weekend, and work my animals. At this point in my life I hardly had a care in the world! Life was good. 

Finally Senior year rolled on by and it was time to start applying for colleges. I never will forget when I got the phone call from Tech saying that I had been accepted. I was on the way home from work and I was just about to reject it because I didn't recognize the number, and then the nicest lady asked, "what would make today a great day?" Without a reply she said, "Congratulations, you have been accepted to Tech!" For me that was quite an accomplishment. It was not until junior year that I decided that maybe it wasn't as cool as I thought to just not turn in homework. I aced all of my tests but who needed to go to class on non test days? Definitely not me! At this point my worries consisted of managing to park on the front row and not get caught by Mr. Quy the asst. principle, remaining non shallot when the counselor pulls up beside me at Sonic during 2nd period, and making sure that I didn't spend all of my pay check in the first 2 days upon receiving it.

Then BAMM!! Before we could blink we were graduating, or should I say graduated! It was time to say goodbye to some great people, knowing that I might never see some of them again. We walked across the stage, received our diploma, said the goodbyes, and realized that we were about to be thrown out into the real world, like it or not. Some of us decided on the college path, while others choose the career path. Some are already married, and some already have babies. For me, I finished my first year of college and I think that is plenty for me to grasp at this point. 

So, what brings all of this to mind was a little girl, probably 6ish, that was in the store I work with was telling her Mom what all she was going to do when she grew up. Her Mom then called me over to help. As I was helping the little girl, Lily, find a pair of boots that fit her girly style needs, her Mom asked if any of my "Grown Up Plans" ever came true. I said that yes, I am going to college like I had always dreamed of, and I had met a lot of the goals that I set for myself, but I also included that I was not ready to grow up and I was still making "Grown Up Plans". After talking to Lily for a little while I learned that she wanted to go to Texas Tech, just like her Daddy (yay!!), she wanted a pink Caddilac like the Mary Kay ladies drive when she turns 16 (super cool first car), she wants to live in Colorado so that she can play in the snow everyday (because it snows everyday?), and she wants 4 children. The craziest of all, she can't wait to be grown up. I remember always wanting to hurry up and move out away from my parents and get a job, but not now. Now I sound like an old lady preaching to her grandkids about not wishing their life away. At the supper table tonight, Daddy joked that his secret to looking young was acting immature, and I'm going to take that as the truth. I would love to go back to my childhood where I could fill up a car for $20, I would get in trouble for taking the "Please Rewind" stickers off of the VHS tapes that we rented from the store, I would beg and beg my parents to let me have my birthday party at the skating rink, I would be gone for hours at a time riding my bike into town to see all of my friends, thinking that I was the coolest person in Krum because we had AOL and the new walkman, when I thought that Jumanji was a scary movie, and when Shelby and I had plans of sharing a Nokia brick phone at the age of 16 and our ringtone would either be the Mexican hat dance or William Tell. So, until further notice you can find me back in the 90's singing Spice Girls, Biggie, and Shania Twain on the top of my lungs, wearing Jeans, Polo shirts, and the clunky Doc Martins that I rocked when I was 7, and riding my bike praying that I don't tilt my CD player to the side too much where my music would stop playing. All of this so that I can change my watch, that no uses to tell time anymore, 5 minutes back so that I don't get in too much trouble for not being home by 8:30.

To all of the mature people out there, have fun growing up. For me, I plan on staying forever young. 

It's the Simple Things In Life

Today, something triggered me to remember the simple things that I did that I loved the most as I was growing up. If I think of all the memories of my childhood it seems to be the simple things that stand out the most to me.

One of my oldest memory is so simple that it happened every night. Every day, hopefully, everyone takes a bath. My parents of course tried to make everything fun for us when we were two, including bath time. Shelby and I would use our shampoo to make what I thought was the world's biggest bubble bath. We even had a little saxophone toy that you could blow bubbles out of! I don't know why but it seemed like Shelby and I would have so much fun at bath time. What was the best part was the rare occasion of getting to use the blow dryer afterwards. Since neither of us has hair until we were practically four, I don't really understand why we ever used it.

The next thing that reminds me of my childhood is sun tea. In case you don't know what "sun tea" is, it's when you make tea with the heat of the sun instead of using water heated by the stove. Now making sun tea is quite a long process. I'm talking a couple of hours at the very least. When we were little it seemed like Mom was always making sun tea. We would set the pitcher on the West side of the house, right by the driveway, so that it could catch the evening sun. I remember playing outside in the summer and having to go check to see just how far along the tea was every 15 minutes. I could not wait until it was ready! 

One of the many things that I took for granted was riding horses with my Dad. When I was little I guess that you could have easily said that I had my dad "wrapped around my little finger". When the day finally arrived when I told my Dad that I wanted a horse of my own, at a moments notice he had a horse ready to be mine. My horse, Divi, was a old mare that one of Dad's friends had. She was in her 20's and just old and calm enough to stick a three year old on. She was an amazing horse. While Dad worked out in the yard he would open up the horse lot and throw me on Divi and tell me to hold on to her mane. I never really needed a saddle with this horse. The second that she felt me leaning to one side she would stop and wait for me to adjust myself, or adjust me herself, and then continue to follow Dad around the yard. Once Divi got a little older and passed away, Dad got me another horse, JR. Now JR was equally as great of a horse. I decided that I was going to run barrels and he was the horse that I was going to do it on. Dad and I spent countless hours in the horse lot chasing cans until the sun had set so much that we no longer could see the horses head in front of us. I wish that I still had the time to spend the hours with Dad, as he taught me such great things.

Now if anyone in my family could tell you the one thing that I am not very partial to, it's cats. Well I dislike all cats except for one. This one cat is a little different than most cats. In fact, we often refer to him as a 'coon because he is so big. When I was four my mom brought home a litter of cats from the pound. There were four of them. Shelby got to have two, and I got to have the other two. Being four, I named my two cats Kermit and Barney. Real original. At first we didn't know how long Barney would make it. One cold morning Dad went out to start his truck and get the heater running and when the motor started it cut off half of Barney's tail. Well over the years we have lost three of the four cats, but not Barney. There were months that would go by that Barney would flat out disappear, then one day you would be in the barn, hear a meow, look up, and there is Barney. Late January a few years ago I remember hearing this meow in our garage. For a few days we just ignored it. Later when we opened up the attic we found Barney. The attic had not been opened since the first week of January when we put Christmas decorations up. Of all of the terrible things that Barney has gone through, he has still managed to stick it out. This huge, ripped cat has survived 20 of a cat's 7 lives and fifteen years later he still is beasting it up. 

Out of all of my childhood memories, the weirdest one is this light pole. It is weird that I would remember a light on top of a 50ft pole out of all the things that I was blessed to play with as a child. This light used to shine down on the entrance to the barn. I partially blame the reason that I still do not sleep to this day on this particular light. When I would sleep in the living room, I would stay up and make the shadows that this light created from shinning in the windows into funny shapes. It was the reason that I never wanted to sleep in my bed and I never slept. It also provided a sense of security to me when I went to feed my pigs in the dark by myself. This light reminds me of many occasions. It was the first thing that Dad told me not to hit when I was learning to drive a tractor and mow as well as being the best defense I had against a few crazy steers of mine. A few years ago this light got struck by lightning and no longer works. It is kind of sad to think that it no longer illuminates our yard, but I would like to think that it served as a lightning rod that kept our barn or house from being struck. 

If you asked me to this day what my favorite toy was when I was growing up, I would definitely not say that it was the most expensive one. Other than my doll, it was the simple things that I remember and loved the most. I remember riding in the back of my Dad's jeep after tee ball games and getting sno-cones that covered our face with stickiness better than I remember the fancy electronics that I was given. I always have loved driving and there were times that I would rather mow the yard than be inside watching the TV. However the simplest thing that sticks out the most to me was my sister and I have olympic style games one day just to see who could sleep on what side of the couch at my Mimi and Poppie's house that night. The simplest thing that I will never forget was just being at my Gommie's house. We would make her house into a hair salon, a parade route for floats that we made, and we would use the horse apples that covered her yard as balls for kicking and throwing. We would use her neighbor's storm cellar as a fort, and we would use her kitchen as a classroom. To this day, I would still rather drink tea out of an old jar vs a cup and use mismatched silverware because of the memories that I had at her house. 

Of all the material things that everyone, including myself, dream and pray for, why is it that the things that are the cheapest are some the things that we love and remember the most. It was washing my parents vehicles for $5 so that after saving for a year I would have enough for a something materialistic, when the car wash turned into a family wide contests who could get each other soaked. I don't remember the object that I bought, but I remember working hard for earn every penny to buy it. If everyone would be a little less materialistic, me included, and a little more open to spontaneous ideas, would the world not be an even more enjoyable place? 

Forgive and Forget

If anyone truly knows me, they know that "feelings" are not something that I acknowledge. Okay, wait! I'm not saying that I have no feelings, because I do! But, you know when people say that, "I just had a feeling that it was...",or something of that nature? Yeah, 99.9% of the time I'm gonna have to call bull shit! That 0.01% that I don't call bull shit was experienced today. So by now your mind is probably running a million different directions as to what I am about to say. Don't get your hopes up. It's no mushy love story or anything fairytale like that. In fact, it was one of the weirdest things that has ever happened to me. I was at work in the back of the store when the bell saying that someone was coming in the door went off. Like always, I paced up the center isle to see if the customer needed any help. It was weird though. Before I could even see the faces of this couple, I had this feeling. It was the weirdest thing ever. I felt like I had to know who they were. I asked if they needed help and they replied that they just were going to look around.  So, I went back about half way to the back of the store and I had to turn around. They were talking to one of the guys that I work with, Clint. They were talking to him as if they knew him. So when they created enough distance between themselves and Clint, I asked Clint if he knew them and he said no, but that they knew his wife. In most situations when we are nosy we can just look at the credit card receipt to find out someone's name. However, of course in this situation these people used cash. Now how am I supposed to be nosy with that? Anyways, after they had paid for all of their merchandise they hung around, almost as if they had some unfinished business. It was the most awkward 45 seconds of my life. I felt like I was staring at them because I was trying to figure out who they were, but it was almost as if they were doing the same to me. Finally, Clint (the guy that I work with) cut the tension and asked them if there was anything else that he could help them with. At first they said "No", then about a minute later they walked up to him and said that they had heard that one of their relatives worked at Weldon's while they were at home from school. My heart sunk. For whatever reason I knew that they were talking about me but I had not a clue in the world who these people were. After discussing it with Clint and they said that it was a McCollum girl. Oh no! When I hear "a McCollum girl", most the time people are referring to me and it's usually about some crazy dumb stunt that I have pulled. After Clint pointed me out to them it all clicked. It was my great-aunt and her husband. Okay, so by now you are probably wondering why I don't have a clue as to what my aunt looks like. Well I often wonder that too. After hugging her and asking her how her and her family were doing, we put the pieces of the puzzle together and figured out that I had not seen here since I was VERY young. For my family to be so close, I have always thought that it was weird that she was never present. I have never figured it out. She is close to my grandmother's other sister, but for whatever reason her and my grandmother do not speak. I have heard many different stories as to why, but you never know when every single one of the stories is different. I do know that there are many differences between the two of them and the last time that they have seen each other is when my great-grandma died when I was only eight. If you do the math, they haven't seen each other in over ten years! Whatever went on between them must have been pretty bad if 10 years has separated them. I know that hardly let 10 hours, much less 10 days or even 10 years come between Shelby and I. I just don't understand!

Basically the moral of the story is to follow your gut feelings, in which I will make fun of everyone for, because until today I thought they were just a load of crap. Also, forgive and forget when it comes to family. Not only are you hurting yourselves, you are keeping younger generations away from their family. My grandmother has not had her sister there, my dad has not had his aunt there, and I haven't even met some of my cousins. If we really are the close family that I thought that we were, isn't something wrong with this situation. Regardless what drove this wedge between them, nothing is so terrible to tear apart two siblings. Today was a day that I will try to always hold onto. I got to see family that I obviously could not even pick out of a crowd of people. I got to see how beautiful of a great-aunt that I have (like 70 going on 55 beautiful). I learned that I had quite a few cousins that I never knew existed, and might not ever meet. Additionally, I learned that the beautiful woman that I saw today had to have stints put in her heart last week and is about to go through a very risky surgery. All of this without the support of part of her family that hardly even knows her anymore. With today, I think God of providing me with the job that I have where I get to interact with great people and I can put everything on hold in a mind boggling situation like this, I also think him for letting our paths cross ways to where I could see my aunt. Who knows if  I will ever see her again, though I would like to. Also, I think God for the amazing family that I do have. Regardless if they are close or far, most of them are very close to me. In the situation that they are not, they seem like amazing people.  

"Just a road trippin on a long weekend..."

I have not necessarily been blogging a lot lately, but after working everyday for 10 hours, blogging is not the top priority on my list. However, I finally took a weekend for myself and went and saw one of my best friends and in the great town of Crowell. That's right, I went and saw Emily! The second that I got off of work on Saturday, I high-tailed it West. Two hours and 45 min later, I arrived in the raging metropolis. After driving around town trying to find enough phone signal to call Emily to get directions to her house, I finally got a hold of her and found out that I was only about a block away! Regardless of having absolutely NO phone signal for the whole weekend, I had an absolute blast! I got to go to church with her and have lunch with her whole family. Then we got to head about 45 min south and spend the day in Munday at Kobie's house. On the way home, I had to make a pitstop and see one of my other good friends, Whitney in Jacksboro! Overall, I had a fantastic weekend with some fantastic people. All of the people that I met were more than welcoming and did I mention they actually knew where Krum was!!!  It was like Heaven on Earth, no one ever knows where I live! Since I have made it home we are going to celebrate Memorial day with some good ole Ribeye steaks and squash cooked out on the fire pit with some of our good friends. Even one from Tech! We might all branch out to Winstar tonight too!! Nothing is better than celebrating Memorial day with your friends. After all, without all of soldiers that fight for us we would not be able to do so.